fast food

Sometimes when I want to write about something, I search through stock photo websites for the perfect photo to go with my thoughts. Often, the visuals remind me of a photo I’ve taken, so then I go manically  through my library to see if I can use one of my own. It’s then that I realise there are so many little videos I’ve filmed over the years and never bothered sharing.

I’m pretty sure the one above is one I made for one of my corporate clients. The exercise is that you’re randomly given a topic and after a few minutes to collect your thoughts, you speak for a full minute about it. It can be a good opportunity to teach fluency, and often the more comical ones are when the person has absolutely nothing original to say about the topic.

Like me and fast food.

If you watch this short clip, it sounds like one of those book reports where the person hasn’t read the book. Or isn’t even entirely sure of anything about the book.

Animal Farm

‘Well, George Orwells seminal work on the plight of the farms where animals are raised and then tragically slaughtered. He takes you on a journey into the soul of the beasts that will one day soon be sitting atop the plate that is upon your table. And that’s why I can whole-heartedly recommend that you read Animal Farm. It’ll change the whole way you look at consumption and digestion, even.’

You get the idea. If it’s done well, you might know I didn’t read Animal Farm (actually I did, but it was the first example that came to mind) but still enjoy what themes and drama I create out of little, if any, actual details of the book.

So, this weekend I made a very half-hearted attempt at watching Game of Thrones on German television. It’s possible that I didn’t really know what was going on in the plot. But for posterity, as well as a sad attempt at humour, I made a running commentary on Storify while watching it.

[View the story “Calypso and The Station Agent” on Storify]

Say what you like, but I think I have a future in mangling plots. It’s a gift I have, don’t you think?

9 thoughts on “fast food

  1. This made me laugh like a moron. Because you posted it on Twitter first, and I saved it to watch when I got home because videos are NOT ALLOWED at work. So without the blog post as reference, I was all, “What’s this?” and then it was so RANDOM! And I laughed and laughed. Then I thought, “I probably shouldn’t mention to Ken that in this, he sounds like my brother when he used to give book reports on books when he hadn’t read them and was all, ‘Old Yeller is a book about a dog. He was yellow. Yeller is a way to say yellow. And also old. Hence the name Old Yeller. And also there is a boy. Who owns the dog. The dog Old Yeller.’ Because that might hurt his feelings? I have no reference point as to what this video is.”

    I’m so glad it wasn’t something serious. It wouldn’t have been nearly as humorous.Well, no, it WOULD, but then I couldn’t TELL you about it. Without a lot of, “Hey, Ken, this is good, look at your nice tie, you look so…professional! Um…hey, about the subject matter…”

    Also, I think you might have the ruliest hair I’ve ever seen. Like, that is some tidy hair you have there, Ken. It is the opposite of unruly. Hence, it is RULY. How do you have that nice ruly hair and today, for example, I have an Alfalfa cowlick thingy sticking up in the back? That seems unfair.

    AND, it made Dumbcat VERY EXCITED. And he meowed at the phone when you were talking. So I played it again just now to see what would happen, and he did it AGAIN. I think Dumbcat might know you or something. Do you know Dumbcat? If so, he seems to have something to tell you.

    Calypso & The Station Agent is awesome and there was nothing sad about the attempt at humor. If people didn’t think it was humorous they obviously are missing the part of their brain that recognizes things that are AWESOME and FUNNY.

    This is very long and it’s way past my bedtime. Sigh.

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    • Was tickled at your response to the YouTube video. Am so glad people seem to have responded to my authoritative views on fast food.

      My hair is not always so manageable. I don’t get cowlicks, though. Please keep that to yourself, please.

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      • I have four cowlicks. So apparently I got enough for you, me, and two other people. I’ve an overabundance. Aren’t I blessed?

        I won’t tell a soul. IT IS OUR SECRET.

        This post says there are MORE videos. More videos, Ken. Post more authoritative videos about subjects like fast food. Very important. Your viewing public is at a loss without them.

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  2. I wish everyone would post videos about fast food so I can hear people talk. You sounded nothing like I imagined. Except, now I can’t remember what I had imagined. I must mention that you did sound very convincing. I believed everything you had to say about fast food. You should start your own cult.

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    • You believed all of it? Really?

      The whole thing? Even the part about people having no time? And the food being fast?

      The cult is already well under way Lisa. There’s plenty more room in the cult. And it’s not only about fast food I assure you.

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  4. Hahaha! This is hilarious! In my head, I continued your talk, though…

    “…but you’re going to wish you were [hungry], because hunger is often preferable to ALL THE AGITA that the fast food will give you.”

    I’m pretty sure you forgot that part.

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